Day 6 – Still Breaking and Making

Meditate. ✅
As I was watering one of my plants in the morning, admiring its leaves, I realized it was kind of putting me into a trance. So, I decided to just gaze out the window and focus on the swaying of one of my favorite trees. I firmly believe that you can meditate anywhere at anytime. My dad, who is a Buddhist practitioner, would always tell me that he meditates throughout the day. You simply take a pause, bring awareness to your current moment and breathe. Even five seconds counts. I personally think if I could do this consistently throughout the day, especially when something is bothering me, it would prove more helpful than sitting in silence for two hours a day.

Exercise. ✅
40 minute Cardio Kickboxing workout.

Write. ✅
Started drafting a little sorry text to my mom…which turned into a full on essay. So, I just sent her a very abbreviated version. I’m debating hand writing and sending her the unabridged version (and also sending a copy to my Dad). As I get older, I feel more impelled to have open, truthful conversations with my parents. We’ve always been close, but I’ve never really shared who I really am with them. That little ten year old version of me is still ruling my life in a lot of ways and she’s scared of the judgement, disappointment or criticism that might ensue. Sure, I know that my parents will always love me, but the theory of unconditional love is very different from the reality of conditional pride. But, I’ve been working with that little girl and we’re making some good, hard progress. We’ll get there.

Do not go out to drink. ✅
Went out to dinner with my boyfriend and had 1 cocktail and 1 glass of wine. It didn’t awaken any desires to go out and rage, I actually didn’t want any more after that.

Do not eat garbage food. ✅
Bacon Onion Turnover
Tuna Sandwich, Salad
Beef Jerky
Lentil Chips
Burrata, Brussel Sprouts, Pork Belly, Steak & Fries
Chocolate Cake

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