Again forgot to meditate first thing in the morning (proof of how quickly forming habits can be undone without active diligence!), but I did a 30 minuted guided meditation before going to sleep. The topic I chose was Joy. Joy is a direct result of mindfulness practice. And the radical willingness to live with life just as it is can cultivate a kind of joy that leads to a sense of openness, happiness and connection. I find this to be so true. Whenever I’m feeling upset or caught up, it’s almost always because I’m resisting something. Resisting instead of just allowing whatever is happening to just happen. Forgetting that what we resist persists.
1.8 mile loop during lunch. I was planning to do a Daily Burn circuit training workout when I got home, but I worked really late and was starving by the time I got home. I wanted to honor the commitment I made earlier to do this workout, but I decided that sometimes, you have to let yourself off the hook. I already did some cardio during lunch, if my body wanted some rest, it wasn’t necessary to pressure myself into doing more. I’m an overachiever by design, and this is usually how I burn myself out and end up throwing the whole thing. So instead, I just made my dinner, poured myself a glass of wine and watched the last two episodes of Girls.
Life is such a blessing. Sometimes, I can see it so clearly and I don’t understand why or how we wind ourselves up into so much misery. What a fuckin wondrous thing to be human. There’s so much room for it all. Beyonce – Feelin’ Myself. Vipassana fuckin meditation. Neuroscience, Astrophysics, Mariah Carey, Nuclear Power, World Star Hip Hop, Beethoven, Kylie Jenner, Dzogchen…there’s just SO MUCH. The spectrum is practically endless. There are so many possibilities of who we can be and what we can enjoy. So, why the fuck do we spend so much time fretting over what’s wrong. Why do we expend so much of our energy interpreting and translating everything that happens as something negative? The thing is, we unfortunately inherit the faulty reasoning of our predecessors. We’re taught to be scared, to worry, to interpret everything as a threat. To judge, to be critical, to be cautious, prudent. We’re not even given a fuckin’ chance to see what this whole place is about before we’re just inundated with all the mistakes and misfortunes of those who came before us.
It makes me really sad to think of all the time I’ve wasted being so miserable and tortured about life and the state of society when I could have simply been light and free. But, ah, here it is again…I was just experiencing a moment of true elation. Near bliss. Then my trained negative self came to the “rescue” to remind me of how bad things actually are.
Do not go out to drink.
1 glass Pinot Grigio with dinner.
Do not eat garbage food.
Turkey, Ham Sandwich
Sour Cream & Onion Chips
Chicken, Cauliflower Rice, Brussel Sprouts, Carrots