Day 12 -Always Judging

Meditate. ✅
Did a driving meditation today. The podcast I was listening to ended, but I still had about ten minutes until I got to the office. I again forgot to meditate first thing in the morning, so I decided to try to practice mindfulness for the rest of the drive to work. No thinking about anything other than what was in front of me at the moment. This obviously proved very difficult. I’m thinking of turning this into a daily practice. I’m not sure if I could do the whole drive (it’s about 45 minutes), but maybe I can work up to it.
I immediately noticed how hard it was not to attach judgment or a story to everything I saw, particularly people. Objects weren’t as difficult…I would just repeat the name of the object – grey Toyota, grey Toyota, red light, red light, green light, green light, green light, Chase Bank, Chase Bank etc. But when it came to people, it seemed like a story or judgment would reach my brain sooner than their identifying features. A lady carrying a baby wearing brown chevron zig-zagged leggings…where did she buy those? So, that’s her style. A woman in a sailor’s uniform…what kind of service is she in? She seems to be walking with a masculine gait. A homeless man talking to an invisible person full with hand gestures and finger snapping…is he on drugs? He must be suffering from some kind of psychosis. I tried to give him a more cheerful story – okay, let’s not assume, he could be happier than that female parking maid over there collecting change from those meters. Perhaps he lived under the oppressive pressure of overachieving parents and is now finally free to…but, it didn’t work. I found myself instead thinking about the intricacies of his mind and wondering what exactly was going on neuro-biologically to make this man have a full on conversation with thin air. As I turned my gaze across the street, I found myself judging a little white dog for having too much of a rounded, what seemed like an almost hunched like back.
Is it possible to experience things with a neutral perspective? Without imposing upon it everything we’ve come across so far in our lives? Am I alone or extreme in this case? Is it not the norm to immediately make judgments and assumptions about everyone we encounter?

Exercise. ✅
35 minutes on elliptical machine.
4 sets of sprints.

Write. ✅
Above prose on my meditation.

Do not go out to drink. ✅

Do not eat garbage food. ✅
Banana
Toast with Creamy Swiss Cheese
Baby Back Ribs, Salad, Fries
Bacon Wrapped Tenderloin, Risotto, Asparagus
Mini Mint Ice Cream Sandwich
[particularly proud that I didn’t binge eat any chips, which is my usual go to Friday night ritual…we’ll see how tonight goes]

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One thought on “Day 12 -Always Judging

  1. That is actually something I am working on myself right now. My little brain is always buzzing and trying to stop it, to stop adding a judgy thought to to every person I see is hard. Good luck!

    Like

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