Guided meditation on Meditation app. Meditation was called Bird in Flight, which had me imagine that I was a bird. I imagined that I was a crow. I did it first thing in the morning and it was pretty relaxing. A nice entry into my day.
1.8 mile walk during lunch break.
I started piano lessons today! I’ve thought about taking them sporadically for a long time, but it just kind of happened out of nowhere this week. I really didn’t think too much about it. It’s something I want to do, so I’m just trying it. Not too long ago (and honestly even still), I would have thought that taking piano lessons was a waste of time. I’d over analyze and come to the conclusion that since I wasn’t trying to have a career in music, I really shouldn’t be investing money or time into this. I’m really trying to figure out what I want to do with my life…what my life’s work should be. I spend a lot of time obsessing and imagining the future, but what about now? Life is just the collected series of our experiences. If I’m not enjoying each day because I keep thinking about the future, one day I’ll wake up and see that it’s just passed me by. I walked out of my lesson today and felt giddy. I literally said to myself, “This is fun!” If that moment right there wasn’t worth it, then I don’t know what is.
Do not go out to drink.
I will say that today the thought was kicking around in my head. I had some stressful interactions with my parents today about their situation (my Dad is sick…he has cancer for the second time and they basically have no income now). My emotions were definitely flaring. I was able to stay mindful through most of it and not get swept away, but the thought of going out to get that stress released my good bad old fashioned way entered my mind a few times.
I’ve also been toying with a time frame for this practice. At some point, I told myself that I want (need) to go 90 days before I can test the waters. 90 days of not going out to drink unless P (my partner) is there or I’m at home and he’s about to be there. I’ve been thinking about cocktails at lunch…what if I don’t order one, but just share? Okay, what if I just take a sip? Then there’s the idea of having someone over at my house and having a few drinks. Or if I go out with that person, who I know doesn’t drink a lot, I think it’ll be fine. And of course, there’s just flat out, I think I’m ready. I can go and have one or two drinks and go home. I can control myself. NO. No, no, no. Then I remind myself of William James second maxim:
Never suffer an exception to occur till the new habit is securely rooted in your life. Each lapse is like the letting fall of a ball of string which one is carefully winding up; a single slip undoes more than a great many turns will wind again. Continuity of training is the great means of making the nervous system act infallibly right … It is surprising how soon a desire will die of inanition if it be never fed.
My new habit is far from securely rooted anywhere. 18 days is not going to cut it. So here I am publicly committing that I will not suffer an exception for a minimum of 90 days. No excuses, no exceptions. Lord help me.
Do not eat garbage food.
Cauliflower, Baby Carrots, Brussel Sprouts
Pasta with Chicken Sausage