Guided meditation on Joy (Part 2).
May your happiness and good fortune continue.
May it grow and grow.
May it never end.
33 minutes on elliptical machine.
5 sets of sprints.
Started off the morning so strong. Went to the gym, had breakfast with P. Then I found a keyboard on Craigslist for $45 pretty close by. I tested it a little there, but when I got home and really played around with it, it was evident that the keyboard was not in good working condition. I specifically asked the seller if any of the keys were messed up and he said no. When I contacted him about the situation, he wouldn’t allow me to return it. This kind of unraveled me…when things go wrong, I take it very personally (then I start taking it out on the people around me, which usually happens to be P). Naturally, since I didn’t want to take all the responsibility of what I construed to be an epic failure, I try to shift some of the blame onto him. In this case, I had asked him if I should get this particular keyboard and he even went with me to get it, so it felt justified. Of course, I knew I what I was doing, so I really tried to watch myself today. It was definitely still rocky, but I didn’t let it ruin my whole day. My desire to order a shit tone of food, get faded and binge eat and watch TV was pretty strong, but I managed to conquer those old habitual tendencies. I intentionally limited how much food I ordered and after a few hours of TV, I decided I wanted to read instead. It seems all the tools I’ve been gathering are kicking into gear when I need them. They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Although I’m very excited about being one day away from that marker, I know better than to think that my old tendencies won’t come up and try to win me back. But I also know that with constant practice, it gets easier to choose what’s true to me.
Do not go out to drink.
Do not eat garbage food.
Bean and Lentil Salad
Flamin’ Hot Popcorn
Dumplings, Popcorn Chicken, Scallion Pancakes