Day 20 – My Toolshed

Meditate. ✅
Guided meditation on Joy (Part 2).
May your happiness and good fortune continue.
May it grow and grow.
May it never end.

Exercise. ✅
33 minutes on elliptical machine.
5 sets of sprints.

Write. ✅
Started off the morning so strong. Went to the gym, had breakfast with P. Then I found a keyboard on Craigslist for $45 pretty close by. I tested it a little there, but when I got home and really played around with it, it was evident that the keyboard was not in good working condition. I specifically asked the seller if any of the keys were messed up and he said no. When I contacted him about the situation, he wouldn’t allow me to return it. This kind of unraveled me…when things go wrong, I take it very personally (then I start taking it out on the people around me, which usually happens to be P). Naturally, since I didn’t want to take all the responsibility of what I construed to be an epic failure, I try to shift some of the blame onto him. In this case, I had asked him if I should get this particular keyboard and he even went with me to get it, so it felt justified. Of course, I knew I what I was doing, so I really tried to watch myself today. It was definitely still rocky, but I didn’t let it ruin my whole day. My desire to order a shit tone of food, get faded and binge eat and watch TV was pretty strong, but I managed to conquer those old habitual tendencies. I intentionally limited how much food I ordered and after a few hours of TV, I decided I wanted to read instead. It seems all the tools I’ve been gathering are kicking into gear when I need them. They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Although I’m very excited about being one day away from that marker, I know better than to think that my old tendencies won’t come up and try to win me back. But I also know that with constant practice, it gets easier to choose what’s true to me.

Do not go out to drink. ✅

Do not eat garbage food. ✅
Bean and Lentil Salad
Kabob Plate
Flamin’ Hot Popcorn
Dumplings, Popcorn Chicken, Scallion Pancakes

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