The Field of My Woes

Too often, I let myself get carried away into a field of negativity and unhappiness. When I finally look back to see what the hell pushed me there, I realize that more often than not, it was simply words someone spoke to me. This someone is usually my boss or significant other…basically, someone who has some kind of control over a part of my life. In the case of my boss – my livelihood. In the case of my significant other – my life. After a few days of spewing negativity and just overall malcontent, my eyes, or heart, starts to open and I see that what I am truly battling with is my ego. Constantly repeating some negative phrase or rebuttal in my head, dissecting it to bits until there’s nothing left to analyze, my ego strives to keep me in my place by making me feel like there may be some truth in what was said, because then it can rise to defend me. Only when I feel wounded does my ego have a purpose, a call to fight. If I were to simply accept that what was said was simply a misguided attempt to protect that person’s own sense of self importance, then what on earth would my ego occupy itself with? Well, sorry Ego, but today, I am putting down my arms and walking out of this field. See you next time.

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